Groom refuses to let his best friend bring his wife as a plus 1 to his wedding because his best friend refused to let him bring his girlfriend as a plus 1 to his wedding: 'Josh told me I still had a plus 1, but it just can't be Stacey.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
May 15, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Deciding who gets a plus one and who doesn't is a dangerous game. It's pretty common to roll your eyes at a buddy who wants to bring the girl he's been dating for 3 weeks to your wedding that you've been planning for two years. If they break up a month later, then your friend will be haunted by the situationship in all of their memories of their dearest friend's wedding. 

On the other hand, it's really upsetting for your friends and family to not consider your partner a valid plus one just because you aren't married yet. It's one thing if it's your boyfriend of a year, but when you've been together for 3 or 4 years and are still not getting a plus one, it can feel pretty insulting. Who wants to sit at that weird singles table with the very elderly guests and the young kids? 

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  • The couple in this story didn't forbid the Best Man from having a date at their wedding because they thought their relationship wasn't serious enough. They forbade his girlfriend from coming specifically because she had a complex past with the groom, and couldn't overcome that after many years. 

  • 01

    AITA for telling my best friend he can’t bring his wife to my wedding?

    I (29M) attended my best friend's (Josh 29M) wedding a few years ago as the best man and was denied a plus one even though I had a girlfriend (Stacey 28F).
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10506294272
    via Scott Webb

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    When Josh and his now wife Amber (30F) originally got engaged they invited me to their wedding and even though I was single I was given a plus 1. A few months after being invited I told Josh I started dating Stacey and would be bringing her.
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 04
    Now for background, I have known Stacey for about 8 years and we dated for a few months back in college. I originally met Stacy through Josh since she was a friend of Josh's ex-girlfriend. But when Josh and his ex broke up,
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 05
    the ex made Stacey decide between dating me or staying friends with her. She was a very toxic person. Stacey chose to keep dating me and after all these years has not talked to or been friends with the ex.
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 06
    However, me and Stacey ended. up breaking up in college due to her transferring to a new college and neither of us wanting a long distance relationship.
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 07
    Once Amber found out I started dating Stacey she had a talk with Josh which ended with Amber telling Josh I wasn't allowed to bring Stacey since she used to be friends with Josh's ex. When Josh broke the news to me, he told me
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 08
    Amber had the final decision and she doesn't want Stacey at the wedding. And to add insult Josh told me I still had a plus one still, just can't be Stacey. Josh told me he didn't agree with Amber but he didn't want to fight with her.
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 09
    After this conversation I didn't mention anything to Stacey. Stacey knew the wedding was coming and would occasionally ask me if she was invited. I would tell her I wasn't sure if I had a plus 1 and kept pushing it off. We still
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 10
    had about 8 months until their wedding so I was hopping going on double dates and hanging out with the 4 of us would warm Amber up to Stacey and change her mind.
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 11
    This didn't work, Amber never changed her mind. The wedding came around (which was also on Stacey's birthday) and I reluctantly attended solo as the best man. I told Stacey everything which really ped her off. She wasn't upset with me and understood why I still wanted to attend the wedding but she still hasn't forgiven Amber.
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10506294528
    via Olivia Anne Snyder

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13
    Fast forward to now, Stacey and I are engaged. The roles are reversed and Stacey is okay with Josh attending but doesn't want Amber near our wedding. Both Stacey's family and my family all know about Stacey not being invited to Josh and Amber's wedding and why. It's left a sour taste in everyone's mouth snd neither of our families want Amber to attend.
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10506294784
    via Michael Dam

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 15
    I'm not one for drama and really wish everyone got along. especially since Josh has been my best friend since we were kids. But I'm standing by Stacey and Amber will not be invited. AITA?
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 16
    EDIT: Just to clarify, when I stated "we broke up" that was in reference to when we dated in college for a few months. And I still made plans with Stacey and celebrated her birthday
    via u/DehydratedDolphin
  • 17
    mpurdey12 NTA Fair's fair. If Josh's (now) wife had the final decision in who got to attend their wedding when they were in the process of planning their wedding, then it's only fair that your future wife gets to have the final say in who attends your wedding.
    via u/mpurdey12
  • 18
    Plus, like someone else said in the comments, if Josh's wife dislikes Stacey so much just because she used to be friends with Josh's ex-girlfriend, then she probably won't want to attend your wedding anyway.
    via u/mpurdey12
  • 19
    NeartAgusonoir I feel like this is the best response...."Stacy has the final say."
    via u/NeartAgusonoir
  • 20
    Ivaras Throwing the fiancee under the bus is an AH move. The best response is that OP is choosing not to put his bride in the awkward position of having someone who has rudely and unfairly shunned her for years at her wedding.
    via u/Ivaras
  • 21
    Stormtomcat the whole situation seems super messy. OP and Josh are/were taking Stacey and Amber on double dates, with this hostility seething under the surface, how effed up is that? Also, Amber's whole deal sounds unhinged. Stacey chose to keep dating OP and thus broke off her friendship with Josh's ex, but the association is still enough for Amber to shun Stacey? Make it make sense.
    via u/Stormtomcat
  • 22
    phyrsis NTA, but if Josh has any sense he'll do what you should have done and RSVP that he won't attend.
    via u/phyrsis
  • 23
    vashmunn This. I can't believe he went, and it was on her Bday! I hope he at least only went to the ceremony then home to celebrate her bday
    via u/vashmunn
  • 24
    kimj17 Why? At that point they just started dating and that's the wedding of his best friend plus he was the best man. You can always celebrate a birthday later but your best homies wedding is once in a life time
    via u/kimj17
  • 25
    wordsmythy I wouldn't invite her either, but Josh's wife is going to forbid him to come to your wedding, and since he caved before, he'll probably cave now. You know, because he "doesn't wanna fight with her."
    via u/wordsmythy

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best man bride wedding date Groomsmen date groom wedding party best friends wedding drama plus one best friend reddit story wedding reddit thread Reddit
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